3 Radically Different Steps to Weight Loss

We walk around with so much pressure on ourselves. Pressure to look right. Pressure to perform well. Be perfect. If not, then we are a failure. We don’t typically give ourselves room for anything less than perfection. And we know practically speaking that it doesn’t HAVE to be perfect. But really in the back of our brains, that’s the goal.

**“Then, and only then, will today be a good day. Anything less is utter failure; utter and total and complete “I Suck At Life” failure.”**

When it comes to our health it’s no different. IF today we can eat the right number of calories, drink enough water, take all the right supplements, drink the right teas and eat the right berries, plan out the meals for next week. Grocery shop. Meal prep and put everything in the right Tupperware containers. Get the perfect workout attire. And then FINALLY get to the gym. And workout hard enough for our Fitbit to register 500 calories spent. THEN AND ONLY THEN will today be a good day. Anything less is utter failure. UTTER AND TOTAL AND COMPLETE I-SUCK-AT-LIFE FAILURE.

This approach might work for a minute. Because we can stick to a complex plan for a total of 36 hours, right?!? And if we manage to stick to it longer, we fizzle after two weeks. It’s too much. It’s too punishment/reward, good/bad, I’m awesome/I suck oriented. The problem is we come from a place of hate for our body. We don’t like what we look like, and we don’t think anyone else does either. It’s a counterproductive place to come from. This “come from” is huge!

Let me offer you a radically different approach to weight loss. I have 3 steps here. If you feel like you’ve tried EVERYTHING and you are exhausted from even the thought of attempting again, stick with me here. You won’t regret it.

Step 1

Acceptance

Not just of your choices but of yourself. Accept all your bad habits along with your good ones. Be honest about the things you do that serve you (and your goals) and the things that do not. This is where “I did everything right” meets that ice cream binge last night. This is where you say,

“Okay... maybe I have some room for improvement.” These are matter of facts, not an excuse for guilt and shame.

Step 2

Grace

Give yourself some grace. You offer everyone in the world more grace than they deserve except for yourself. Stop beating yourself up for all the things you didn’t complete or did “badly” or “wrong”. You are being too hard on yourself. You have bad days. That’s ok. Accept yourself anyway.
You didn’t get that workout in again. It’s ok.
You broke down and had a piece of cake. Ahem... another piece of cake. That’s ok. Give yourself some room to make mistakes. When you give yourself room for mistakes you also allow time for yourself to get things right. When you learn to forgive yourself your “come from” is immediately better. We keep fighting ourselves here. And when we approach things like we are ready for a fight, guess what? We get one! No good will come from this fight.

You’ll always either be winning or losing. And that’ll change all the time. This is so volatile. Would you suggest anyone stay in this type of relationship? No! Why then would you continue to support this type of relationship with your health? This takes practice and a HUGE mind shift. The practice is well worth the results here, trust me.

Just try it.

Step 3

Gratitude

No matter where you are in your journey, whether you’ve recently gained a ton of weight; whether you only want to lose that last 5 or 10 pounds; whether you’ve lost a lot, but you still have a lot to go; whether you’ve hit your goal, your journey won’t be anything but a battle unless you can have gratitude for what your body is capable of right now. If you can’t be grateful for what you have now and thing things you can do RIGHT NOW, you won’t know how to have gratitude for those things when you reach your weight loss goals. That’s true in your health journey and all other areas in life.

Stop fighting all the should haves and the “bad” moments. Forgive yourself for not making choices that line up with your goals, and give thanks for everything you have, everything you can do, and just being in a body that can move and breathe.

Plot twist. These are not the steps to weight loss. Sorry for the clickbait. These are the steps to self-love.

If you’ve tried everything else, what can you lose from trying just one more thing. Love is a much better place to come from on your journey than hating your body and your choices. Take the fight out of the game. I challenge you to replace it with self-love. Working towards this is the real transformation.

Let self-love be the goal. Let weight loss and good health be the side effect.